Oct
Out with the Girls
I get to guest post
on one of my favorite blogs!
Find me here today:
Segullah Blog
Oct
Don’t Jinx It
I’m nearly afraid to write this post. I don’t want to mess anything up or cheer too loud too soon. But, for the last two weeks Dylan has responsibly gotten out of bed at 7:00 a.m., gotten his own breakfast and eaten, taken a bath, gotten dressed and brushed his teeth. He presents himself to me at about 7:40, ready for school. Most mornings he has gotten to play for a few minutes, while I finish up a few things before taking him to school. At first, I wasn’t entirely certain the child cheerfully announcing, “I’m ready!” was actually mine.
Dylan has had the same morning routine and schedule for 3 1/2 years. Until two weeks ago, despite all kinds of scheduling aids getting him ready in the morning required a hefty dose of ” Have you brushed your teeth?” or “What do you need to do now?” Some mornings were abject failures of parental patience. I hate starting my day as a nag, but there were days…
Maybe seven is the magical age when everything starts clicking together. I’m holding my breath. It’s great to take a shower and not wonder if Dylan is going to be late because I bathed instead of chirping reminders at him every five minutes.
If you were curious, Anya is an entirely different story. Entirely different.
Tags: dylan, morning schedule, responsibility
Sep
Blood-sucking Beavers
My children come up with the most astonishing array of bedtime excuses. I try to take this as an indication of my success in fostering their creativity. But, no one is fooled. We all know it’s really an indication of my colossal failure in the bedtime obedience area.
A few nights ago, we put our children to bed, tucked them in, had a few bathroom visits, kindly left a light on for them, and sternly insisted that they go to bed NOW! I doubt it was five minutes later that I heard panicked feet pounding on the wood floors toward the patio, where we were visiting with my parents. Anya burst out the door yelling, “Mommy, mommy, mommy!” We rolled our eyes and acknowledged her…barely.
“Mommy! I hear a sound like this.” She screwed up her face and made sound that was a cross between a sucking and a kissing noise. “It’s a blood-sucking beaver, and it’s going to get me!” she bellowed. I almost laughed…just a little snort escaped. But, I manged to pull out my angry eyes and march her back to bed.
No, I have not the faintest idea where she heard about blood-sucking beavers. Truth be told, it was my first encounter, too.
So what’s your kids’ best anti-bedtime excuse?
Tags: anya, bedtime, creativity
Sep
I Hear You, Sister
Anya spends long hours most days playing with her babies and carefully tending to their various needs. She’s a great mom! When I took Anya to kindergarten this morning, she responsibly buckled her baby into Dylan’s booster seat “because it’s safer for her that way.” This happens most mornings. The baby doll stays there, safely seatbelted, until I pick Anya up three hours later.
The baby is a talking doll that helpfully informs the world that she’s hungry or wants a story or a needs a diaper change or wants to play. Almost always I leave the doll turned off, because I hate listening to it. I have real children to whine at me, thank you! But the doll was on this afternoon, and we had to listen to it on the way home from kindergarten. After a few minutes, Anya got all huffy and exasperated: “Mom, my baby is giving me a headache! I really need a break from my baby. Let’s get her a babysitter.” I laughed quietly so as not to offend.
She’s just lucky her baby has an off switch. Mine don’t.
It’s ok…I like it that way.
Tags: anya, pretend play
Sep
What’s Your Family Contribution?
With the beginning of new school year and a perceptible increase in the chorus of “I want” that I get to listen to each day, I have begun reconsidering the allowance system in use at our house. The current one is, “We-Tried-Last-Year-But-They-Didn’t-Understand-So-We-All-Forgot-About-It-Because-It-Was-Easier.” Maybe it’s time to get back up on that horse. Also, the thought of a free iPhone, courtesy of out friends of at Capital One and Parent Bloggers, has got me thinking overtime!
My biggest challenge with allowances is what the kids should get paid for and what they should just do because they have the rare privilege of being part of our family. I looked over the Tessy and Tab Preschool Money Manger Kit that was reviewed recently at Parent Hacks. (I submitted a hack that they used in conjunction with the review, if you were curious). In any case, one thing I liked about their system was that, in order to have an opportunity to earn money, there were three things kids had to do as their “family contribution” each day. Particularly, I liked that one was “Be kind and behave.” I think that’s a completely fair expectation.
The problem is that my husband disagrees (strongly I might add) about connecting that expectation with an allowance. He even suggested that some days of the month (gasp!) I might be a bit grumpier than others and more prone to deciding the kids didn’t cut it that day. I think the word he used was “arbitrary.” Just possibly, there could come a day that they did all their “work,” and mom decides it doesn’t matter because there wasn’t enough “Be kind and behave.” Obviously, this would never happen to me. Obviously…
So there is a (teensy) possibility that I should consider his reservations and figure out another more unified way for us to handle this. But, I’m kind of stumped. I want the kids to learn that we all contribute to family life. Particularly, I need to teach that our biggest contribution is our choice to treat each other with love and to follow the family rules. So, if we fail in that what should the consequence be? Should our family contribution NOT be connected with an allowance at all? What chores or jobs or behaviors are simply expectations and which ones can be associated with your allowance job chart?
Ponder, ponder, ponder.
First, it occurs to me that my kids are still young, so concrete, specific, and achievable expectations are most likely to be successful. In that case my husband it right: “Be nice and behave” is probably too nebulous for them to really know when they are successful. After all, all of us apparently have off days when we’re trying hard, doing our best, and still coming off as grumpy. Doesn’t that count for something?
Then, there are some other things that I just expect my kids to do without getting paid. Even though Tessy and Tab think it’s ok, I’m not ok with paying my kids to dress and brush teeth. Ewww…no choices there…we just do it. I also think that we can expect everyone to put away their laundry. I don’t tell Dylan and Anya how to put away the clothes in the drawers, so pretty much it’s all just stuffed in. But, I do expect at least that much, and I’m not going to start paying for that. Maybe I’d pay for neatness. Dunno…have to think about that.
So, I’m thinking that “Be nice and behave” is going to be a separate family expectation with a separate set of incentives and consequences. The current family contributions and earning opportunities are probably going to be along these lines:
Contributions:
- Dress, bathe, brush teeth
- Pray and read scriptures personally and with the family
- Complete homework
Daily Earning Opportunities:
- Clean bedroom (Bed made, toys put away, desk cleared, laundry put away)
- Swish and Swipe a bathroom
- Help Mom with Daily Zone Cleaning
- Clean up dinner
I’m also considering paying them for each additional 20 minutes they read beyond what is required for their homework. Not sure on that one yet. And, there may be some special weekend opportunities that go along with yard work.
So comments? suggestions? magic fairy dust to make this work? How does your family balance the idea of a family contribution against an allowance or jobs for pay chart?
