I Hear You, Sister

Anya spends long hours most days playing with her babies and carefully tending to their various needs. She’s a great mom! When I took Anya to kindergarten this morning, she responsibly buckled her baby into Dylan’s booster seat “because it’s safer for her that way.” This happens most mornings. The baby doll stays there, safely seatbelted, until I pick Anya up three hours later.

The baby is a talking doll that helpfully informs the world that she’s hungry or wants a story or a needs a diaper change or wants to play. Almost always I leave the doll turned off, because I hate listening to it. I have real children to whine at me, thank you! But the doll was on this afternoon, and we had to listen to it on the way home from kindergarten. After a few minutes, Anya got all huffy and exasperated: “Mom, my baby is giving me a headache! I really need a break from my baby. Let’s get her a babysitter.” I laughed quietly so as not to offend.

She’s just lucky her baby has an off switch. Mine don’t.

It’s ok…I like it that way.

Tags: anya, pretend play

What’s Your Family Contribution?

With the beginning of new school year and a perceptible increase in the chorus of “I want” that I get to listen to each day, I have begun reconsidering the allowance system in use at our house.  The current one is, “We-Tried-Last-Year-But-They-Didn’t-Understand-So-We-All-Forgot-About-It-Because-It-Was-Easier.”  Maybe it’s time to get back up on that horse. Also, the thought of a free iPhone, courtesy of out friends of at Capital One and Parent Bloggers, has got me thinking overtime!

My biggest challenge with allowances is what the kids should get paid for and what they should just do because they have the rare privilege of being part of our family.  I looked over the Tessy and Tab Preschool Money Manger Kit that was reviewed recently at Parent Hacks. (I submitted a hack that they used in conjunction with the review, if you were curious). In any case, one thing I liked about their system was that, in order to have an opportunity to earn money, there were three things kids had to do as their “family contribution” each day. Particularly, I liked that one was “Be kind and behave.” I think that’s a completely fair expectation.

The problem is that my husband disagrees (strongly I might add) about connecting that expectation with an allowance. He even suggested that some days of the month (gasp!) I might be a bit grumpier than others and more prone to deciding the kids didn’t cut it that day. I think the word he used was “arbitrary.” Just possibly, there could come a day that they did all their “work,” and mom decides it doesn’t matter because there wasn’t enough “Be kind and behave.” Obviously, this would never happen to me. Obviously…

So there is a (teensy) possibility that I should consider his reservations and figure out another more unified way for us to handle this. But, I’m kind of stumped. I want the kids to learn that we all contribute to family life. Particularly, I need to teach that our biggest contribution is our choice to treat each other with love and to follow the family rules. So, if we fail in that what should the consequence be? Should our family contribution NOT be connected with an allowance at all? What chores or jobs or behaviors are simply expectations and which ones can be associated with your allowance job chart?

Ponder, ponder, ponder.

First, it occurs to me that my kids are still young, so concrete, specific, and achievable expectations are most likely to be successful. In that case my husband it right: “Be nice and behave” is probably too nebulous for them to really know when they are successful. After all, all of us apparently have off days when we’re trying hard, doing our best, and still coming off as grumpy. Doesn’t that count for something?

Then, there are some other things that I just expect my kids to do without getting paid. Even though Tessy and Tab think it’s ok, I’m not ok with paying my kids to dress and brush teeth. Ewww…no choices there…we just do it. I also think that we can expect everyone to put away their laundry. I don’t tell Dylan and Anya how to put away the clothes in the drawers, so pretty much it’s all just stuffed in. But, I do expect at least that much, and I’m not going to start paying for that. Maybe I’d pay for neatness. Dunno…have to think about that.

So, I’m thinking that “Be nice and behave” is going to be a separate family expectation with a separate set of incentives and consequences. The current family contributions and earning opportunities are probably going to be along these lines:

Contributions:

1. Dress, bathe, brush teeth
2. Pray and read scriptures personally and with the family
3. Complete homework

Daily Earning Opportunities:

1. Clean bedroom (Bed made, toys put away, desk cleared, laundry put away)
2. Swish and Swipe a bathroom
3. Help Mom with Daily Zone Cleaning
4. Clean up dinner

I’m also considering paying them for each additional 20 minutes they read beyond what is required for their homework. Not sure on that one yet. And, there may be some special weekend opportunities that go along with yard work.

So comments? suggestions? magic fairy dust to make this work? How does your family balance the idea of a family contribution against an allowance or jobs for pay chart?

Tags: allowance, anya, chores, dylan, math, money

Cooked Play Dough

After I made the video clip for this post, I came upstairs to write the actual post.  I had used up all the cornstarch when I made the batch of salt dough I talked about.  And being the compulsive garbage-thrower-outer that I am, I tossed the box.  I figured, “No big deal…I’ll just look up the recipe on the internet.”  That proved a whole lot harder than I expected.  I couldn’t find the one that had been on the box.  I searched fruitlessly for over an hour, and honestly I’m a pretty good internet searcher.  (And I swear I was only a little bit distracted by some non-related webpages…promise!)

The next morning after dropping off the kids at school, I visited two different supermarkets looking for that brand of cornstarch…except I couldn’t remember exactly which brand it was.  I was hoping to recognize the box.  I didn’t.  So I looked at all the boxes, and I still couldn’t find the recipe I wanted. When I whined to my husband, he told me that is what I got for being so bad about throwing things out that we might potentially someday need.  He said it was served me right for getting rid of his holey t-shirts that he still wore. Uhm…yeah…the same but different.

Anyway, I went back to the internet looking for recipes that I hoped would be similar.   I spent the day trying out three different play doughs that require cooking.  The kids had a great time after school playing with my day’s output, but I was still frustrated with the results and wanting that original recipe.  Finally, I decided to search again.  I typed everything I could remember about the recipe into the search box.  It was the ugliest search I’ve ever done, and I’m embarrassed to even confess to it.  In any case, the stars aligned, the bits and bytes of Google love me, and there it was!  My recipe!

And here it is for you.  I’ll also include the other three recipes with my commentary afterward.

The Recipe for Cooked Salt Dough That I Like

1 1/2 C Corn Starch
1/2 C Flour
1 C Salt
2 tsp Cream of Tartar
1 Tbs Vegetable Oil
2 C Water
Optional coloring or scent

Mix all the ingredients in a medium sauce pan. Stir constantly while cooking over medium heat. After approximately 6 minutes the dough will gather on the stirring spoon and form a ball. Dump out onto waxed paper. (I just dumped it on the counter.) Let it cool until you can handle it. Form it together into a ball and let your kids have at it. Great texture for a dough! Just the right firmness and softness and smoothness. Turns a little rubbery over time, but can be softened again by letting it come to room temperature (I assume you store it in the fridge like me) and kneading in a little water.

Salt and Cornstarch Dough

2 C Salt
2/3 C Water
1 C Cornstarch
Additional 1/3 C COLD water
Optional coloring or scent

Mix salt, 2/3 C water and any optional colorings or scents in a sauce pan and heat until fairly warm. Remove from heat. In another container, mix together cornstarch and 1/3 C COLD water. Add the cornstarch mixture to the salt water, stirring constantly. Return pan to heat and stir until the mixture forms a smooth mass. Cool and play.

Commentary (because you’re dying to know what I think): I scented this dough with a hefty splash of vanilla extract. My kids said it smelled like cookies. They didn’t really like this dough though. It’s texture is rough because of all the salt. It’s sticky to work with, but it doesn’t stick to your hands. In fact, your hands end up with the satiny feel of cornstarch. The dough is also very soft, so it doesn’t work terribly well with cookie cutters or spatulas. All in all, probably my least favorite of the doughs I’ve tried.

Baking Soda and Cornstarch Dough
1 C Baking Soda
1/2 Cornstarch
3/4 C Water
Optional coloring or scent

Mix the baking soda and the cornstarch together in a saucepan. Mix the coloring and scent into the water and then pour into the pan, stirring constantly. Cook over medium heat while still stirring. When the mixture gathers together, remove from heat and let cool. Knead into a ball and give it to the kiddos.

Commentary: This play dough is more like a soft clay. It was very smooth and nice to the touch, maybe slightly sticky at first. This dough has one major challenge. If you overcook it at all it becomes crumbly or prone to cracking. You can smoosh it back together, but it doesn’t really hold as well as a traditional play dough. Even knowing this, I think I overcooked it a bit.

We had a really good time smashing the dough flat and then writing in it with toothpicks. Dylan practiced spelling words and Anya wrote numbers and drew shapes. Anya also spent a good deal of time putting this dough through my garlic press and making worms, pasta, and hair–a grand combination.

I colored this batch with a black cherry Kool-Aid packet. It fizzed when I added it–probably some kind of chemistry thing going on with the acid in the packet and the baking soda. But it didn’t seem to have any particular effect on the outcome of the dough. My kids definitely liked the deep pink color and the cherry smell. To sum up: second favorite dough.

Flour and Salt Dough
3 C Flour
1 1/2 C Salt
6 tsp Cream of Tartar
3 Tbs Oil
3 C Water
Optional coloring or scent

Dissolve salt in the water in a large pot. Add the other ingredients. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the dough pulls away from the sides and forms a ball. When cool enough to handle, knead for 2-3 minutes until it resembles the texture of Play-doh. Store in a sealed container. Should last for 3 months.

Commentary: This recipe started off rather badly for me. I couldn’t ever really get the salt to dissolve in the water, even after I brought it to a boil. Finally, I became worried that I was loosing too much liquid as steam, so I added in the other ingredients. Then it was pretty much instantly cooked. I really do think that I lost too much fluid.

This was a smooth dough that was pretty stiff and firm. It was also fairly dry to the touch and not at all sticky. I added in about 2 tsp of cinnamon and a scant teaspoon each of ginger and cloves. My kids said it smelled like a candle. It was a nice brown color from the cinnamon.

My gripe about this dough is mostly that the recipe was rather hard to do. Also, the longer the kids played with it the drier it got. So toward the end, the dough was kind of hard to smash all together again and reincorporate into a single lump. Again, I’m pretty sure this is due to loosing too much water at the start. Over all, not a huge fan.

Do you have another recipe I should try?  Let me know.  You know how…leave a comment.

Tags: fine motor skills, sensory activities

Astonishing!

This weekend I hosted my first-ever birthday party for one of my children. Dylan turned seven and “more than anything else in the whole wide world,” he wanted to have a Star Wars birthday party. Challenge number one was whittling down his guest list to something in the neighborhood of reasonable. We did a little compromising, and he helped me write out invitations. Good writing practice with a very motivated child. Mom was happy, boy was happy, world was good.

Since this was my first time at hosting, I was very uncertain about how long activities would take. I was terrified of running out things to keep 12 boys busy. Turns out that cupcake decorating and eating takes a mere three minutes. On the other hand, painting a three-foot wooden dowel to look like a light saber can last upwards of 30 minutes, especially because everyone has opinions and commentary on how to properly make Jedi weapons. Pinatas take about 15 minutes; eating (inhaling) lunch takes about 5 minutes. So how did it last two hours? I don’t know…it just did. There were a lot of good guy/bad guy battles in the backyard. Not exactly an activity I had planned, but then they seemed really happy with it.

The hit of the afternoon was a guest appearance by a close friend dressed as a bad guy from the Empire. It wasn’t a storm trooper, so I’m really uncertain what he’d be called. If you’d like to advance my knowledge of the Empire’s fighting force, leave a comment and tell me what the black storm troopers are called. And it wasn’t Vader–I am smart enough for that one. One lucky day my son will think I’m a cool, Star Wars savvy mom. The next, he will be a teenager, and that moment will be lost forever. Anyway, they had picture-taking and question-asking and battle-posing. It was pretty funny to hear them trying to decide if it was real or pretend. There was an in-depth discussion of how a real bad guy would land his spaceship near our house. Tricky things for 7-year-olds.

The real risk of the afternoon was arming all the little padawans with wooden light sabers. We had a brief training segment, in which everyone repeated loudly that light sabers only touch light sabers and not other kids or adults or my trees or our little sister or the swings or the house. Near the end of the party we had to revise the training a bit, since it’s okay to hit the giant Death Star pinata with a light saber, too.

So, we made it through two hours of hearty partying with second-graders. To my deep relief, no one was hit with a stick/light saber. No one had any eyes poked out. My trees did not get whacked to death. Anya escaped completely unscathed. And I might be a cool mom. Astonishing!

Tags: birthday, dylan, imagination

Daily Journals

I think that daily journal writing was the most detested part of my elementary school years. Oddly, I am not a horrible writer. I just hated journal writing. Honestly, I still don’t find journal writing to be a terribly inspiring pastime. So, it’s not surprising to me that lots of kids (and adults!) resist the idea of daily writing. However, it’s hard to argue with the valuable educational outcomes of writing. Barnabas Emenogu, summarizing current research on the benefits of writing in the early grades, concludes:

Amongst other things, I have suggested that a key benefit of getting elementary students to start writing early is that the amount of writing they do during their school years has a strong impact on the way they think, the amount they read, and the quality of their writing as adults. Motivating students to write in many forms for many reasons will enhance not only their achievement but quite possibly their life chances.

Just this summer, I again realized how much daily writing can help kids.  I was amazed at the progress Dillon with our consistent (not daily) journal writing.  It was definitely worth the pain it took to get the habit started.  Daily journal writing remained somewhat challenging for both of us, but I reassured myself with this tidbit from The National Council of Teachers of English:

The “language arts” develop in concert. Drawing supports writing, writing supports reading; opportunity to use multiple expressions of language increases language learning and ability.

So, I feel pretty good that any kind of literacy activity contributes to the overall goal of developing reading and writing skills.  With that in mind, I learned to be flexible about what constitutes a journal entry. After we spent a few weeks developing the basic concept of journal entries,  I let the kids do different kinds of entries. You can easily search online and come up with all kinds of creative journal ideas, but here’s a few that have worked for us:

• lists of favorite or most disliked things
• free association activities
• acrostic name poems
• comic strip stories
• riddles and jokes
• recipes
• maps
• sketches and explanations of inventions

As I mentioned in the video, two crucial components of a journal writing at our house are story paper and a decent list of writing prompts. I happen to like the calendar format of that link, but you can search online and find many excellent compilations of journal prompts for kids.

Now that school has started, I’ve slacked off a bit. I know that Dylan has daily writing in class, so I’ve kind of given myself a pass for now. However, if you need to help someone get over a hump in reading or writing, daily writing is almost certain to help.  And making it fun, is going to help even more.

So do you have any great ideas for keeping journals with kids?  Let us know, because it seems that keeping writing fresh and new is the best way to keep it going.

Tags: art, creativity, dylan, early elementary, reading, writing